Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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