we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
