Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
