how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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