i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
