Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
