4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
