A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
