After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
