Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You know, be my cock's hype man.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
whose parrot is this?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
