So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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