look no pants
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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