I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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