I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
