is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
