I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
