Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
