I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
