I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
