I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
