So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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