why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Congratulations! We have a period
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
