We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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