they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
