im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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