I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
