they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
