Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Floor bacon is actually really good
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
