They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
