We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
