Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
