Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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