I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Buhtt sex?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
