I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
