remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
