how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
