I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
