He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
