Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
