i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
