this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
