from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
