Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
