Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
