don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
