We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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