"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
