sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
