Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Randomize
