What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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