Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
