I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
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