He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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